Monday, August 10, 2009

So there were quite a few excellent entries for the Burn Notice Contest last week. I asked contestants to send in their favorite Micheal Weston moment, real or made up, and I would pick my favorite and publish it here. These are my 3 favorites. Unfortunately numbers 2 and3 don't win anything put seeing their stories published.

Of course while there were some great entries there were some that got thrown out because they didn't follow the rules and only sent in their name and address, so make sure to follow the rules.

So here's the stories:

2nd Runner-Up: Bob Kelso of Florida (Real Name held for anonymity)
Here is my Michael Weston moment (and yes, it is true):

I was working as an EMT in the West Bank and heard on the radio to respond to a motorcycle crash on a small road outside of the Christian town of Beit Jala and the Jewish town of Gilo. I was in my personal vehicle, not on the ambulance, and only had my own personal stash of medical supplies. Upon arrival, mere minutes after the call, I noticed that I was the first on scene and the man was unconscious. He was bleeding severely from his leg so I whipped out my tourniquet. In my haste however I accidentally snapped it in half (not an easy thing to do!) and was left with no other options. The normal choice in this situation is to use the patient's (or your own) shirt, however instead I looked around for something to use and noticed that his motorcycle used a rubber transmission belt that was broken from the fall. I grabbed it, cut it in half using my knife, and tied it around his injured leg, saving his life. I continued to stabilize him using the traditional methods until the bulletproof ambulance arrived to pick up the patient.

Runner-Up: Sean Breckling of The Internet
For my best friend's bachelor party, I concocted a scheme to "collect" him.

I had a couple of fake letters mailed to him from a fake lawyer in California, saying that he was implicated as a potential father in a paternity case regarding their "client" (who's name was intentionally out). The "law firm" was going to pay for him to have his DNA analyzed, if he went to one of the four pre-determined appointments, three of which had conveniently passed by the time he got the letter.

To add authenticity, I had the letters mailed from California by a friend of ours, and made sure the address was a mid-shabby office building in Sacramento.

When he received the letters, he immediately called me, freaking out about this development, and tearfully confessed the whole story to his fiance (whom was in on the gag). He went as far as to make a list of every woman he had been intimate with, over the years. (The fact that it easily fit on a post-it was particularly funny, come bar-night.)

The following day he went to his "appointment", letters-in-hand, where the guys and I were waiting, grinning ear to ear. It took him a few seconds to register that he had been had, but once he did, he yelled "I've never been so happy to be so pissed!!".

And the winner is: Mark Judge of Dallas, Texas
When I was 11 or 12 I had a habit of getting jumped by 1 of 4 brothers that lived in our housing tract. Actually there were 5 brothers but only 4 of them ever jumped anyone, the other one was the oldest and nicest. Anyway, it always seemed like when you would least expect it they would be there, jumping out of a bush, from behind a fence, off of a roof, heck, sometimes it seemed like they just appeared out of thin air. Once they caught you they would throw you to the ground and either start punching you or they would wrap their bodies around you like a pretzel to where you couldn't move. Then they would squeeze until you cried or they would make you say something humiliating before letting you up. But not before taking anything of value whether it be money, candy, sports equipment, whatever. None of us that got jumped ever told our parents because we knew they would go talk to the parents of the brothers and then things would just get worse. So, we endured.
Anyway, it was summertime and I had just walked about 1 and a half miles to the local store to buy me some baseball cards and candy. The candy was Bottlecaps and Atomic Fireballs. Not the big jawbreaker ones but the little ones that came in a box. Well, as I was making my way back to my house I spotted one of the brothers, about a half a block down. Unfortunately he spotted me at the same time. I was still a good ways from my house and would never make it there before he caught up to me but I took off running anyway. As I was running I could hear the Atomic Fireballs moving up and down in their boxes as I ran and I had an idea.
So I whip around this corner and duck behind a bush and take my 2 packages of Atomic Fireballs out and dump them on the sidewalk. If you don't know what Atomic Fireballs are they are like little tiny HARD marbles.
Once my trap is set I take off running again and about 3 seconds later I turn my head to admire my trap in action. It worked like a charm. He came flying around the corner and his feet hit those little candies and up up and AWAY he went! It seemed like he was in the air for 5 seconds. Then he came CRASHING down to the earth.
Well, the good news was that he did not catch me that day and I got to keep my Bottlecaps and baseball cards. The bad news was that when he was coming down he tried to break his fall but instead broke his wrist. He was in a cast for 3 months and he did tell his parents how it happened and they did tell my parents and I spent a 2 weeks of summer vacation grounded.
But, it was totally worth it!

Congrats to Mark!


Post a Comment