Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Over the years I've seen a lot of movies and TV. A LOT. Probably more than is healthy, but I don't care because I love it. And during this time I've picked up a lot of information, some of it very useful, and some not so much. So I thought I'd write up some things I've learned from the movies and TV. Up first Crossing the Street.

At a young age we're taught the "Never talk to strangers," "Don't pull your pants down in public," and "Look Both Ways Before Crossing The Street." Most of us eventually ignore number 1, because how would we ever make friends if we didn't talk to strangers. According to the internet lots of people ignore number 2, especially when drunk. But number 3 is just solid information. You always look both ways before crossing the street. And why do we look both ways? As a kid I thought it was to make sure no cars we're coming, but movies and television have taught me differently.

What movies and television have taught me is that every time you don't look before crossing the street, you will be hit by a bus. EVERY SINGLE TIME. No seriously, everytime. This happens because apparently the bus is magic. Want proof? Look below (Warning blood!)

Now go back to the 12-14 sec marks, you'll notice that the street the bus is coming down is blocked by road working equipment. At the speed it was going there is no other place the bus could have come from. So either the bus magically ran through the stuff in it's way with no problem, or it magically appeared because she didn't look both ways. Either way it's Magic!

(R.I.P. Todd Mulcahy - killed by a bus, when he didn't look before crossing the street - Felicity)

And these buses magical abilities don't stop there. Not only can these buses appear out of nowhere, they are also silent and invisible until secs before impact. How else do you explain the fact that all these people neither hear or see the buses that hit them. I understand you're having a conversation, or staring off into space to see if you loved one will look back, or have heard someone call your name, but that doesn't make you deaf. When you talk to someone you can still hear other things around you, no matter how passionate the conversation. When you are staring lovingly to where your love was waiting for them to turn around, you can still see things out of your periphery. And when you heat someone call your name, you spin around, which means you should be able to see almost every direction at some point during that turn, as well as hear things in all directions.

(R.I.P. Edmund Burke - killed by a bus when he didn't look before crossing the street - Lost)

Yet according to movies and television, none of this matters, you didn't look before crossing the street, so you must be his by a bus. So I've learned to always look before crossing the street, because honestly getting smacked by a bus, is a pretty horrible way to go.

Below several examples that reinforce the lesson:

So, please, next time you cross the street, be sure and look both ways, because if you don't one of the Magical Buses will know and it will kill you!


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